Phantom of the TARDIS
by angelofmusic4ever
Summary: The modern Doctors and their companions put on The Phantom Of The Opera. Not a serious fic, rated T because I'm paranoid.
1. Chapter 1

The TARDIS made a whooshing sound as the 11th Doctor punched randomly at the control board.

"Doctor! Doctor, what's wrong?", Clara Oswald importuned from the other side of the console room. "I don't know, something's gone wrong with the time vortex, it's like three TARDISes are merging into one!" The Doctor furiously straightened his bow tie and fixed his fez. Then, I blinding white light shone brightly near the entrance and a girl stepped through. Her light blond hair shone with the radiance of the TARDIS's energy.

"Where am I?", the girl asked. Rose Tyler. "Rose." "Doctor?" The two ran forward and embraced leaving a very confused Clara in the dark. Suddenly, another brilliant light appeared, from which stepped a tall man in a brown trench coat and a middle aged woman with straight, fiery, orange hair.

"Oi, Spaceman, where have you taken us to this time?", The redheaded woman snapped at the man in the trench coat. "What?" The eleventh Doctor questioned, recognizing his past self. "Who are you and what have you done to my TARDIS?" the Tenth Doctor questioned. But before he could answer, three more people stepped from the light. Amelia Pond, Rory Williams, and River Song stepped into the console room. "Hello, Sweetie." River said flirtatiously. "Whoa wait a second, who's sweetie?" Rose asked furiously. An argument broke out between Rose, Ten, River and Eleven. Chaos ensued as Clara, Amy, Donna and Rory watched in confusion. Finally, someone broke it up. Everything was so chaotic, nobody noticed that two more people had entered the room. "Hey, hey, HEY! What in the world is going on here? Ladies, ladies you're all pretty, now where are we and who are all of you?" Captain Jack Harkness strolled in, followed by the Ninth Doctor.

"Okay, let's get everything straight here. I have absolutely no idea what's going on here. It seems like three TARDISes have combined, bringing in my past selves and their companions." Eleven explained. To prove his point, the white light returned, and out came Mickey Smith and Martha Jones. "Well, this is new.", Martha pondered. "Heey Mickey and Martha! How are you doing? Married I see, great!" Ten cried out in joy. "Do you think there are any more coming?", Nine asked. "Hard to say, many people have travelled with me, even for short times. To answer Nine's question, four more people stepped in, Sally Sparrow, Jenny, Christina, and Larry Nightingale. "But I don't get it! They barely even travelled in the TARDIS at all!" Eleven shouted.

As the newcomers looked about in awe, Eleven decided to do introductions, "Okay, so this will sound very confusing, but all of you have either travelled with me or helped me along my journeys or are me, so everyone listen up because I will do this once, and only once. The one with the big hair, is Professor River Song, we may or may not be married. This is Mickey, Martha, Rose, Jenny (who is my daughter), Donna, Sally, Larry, Amelia, Rory, Christine, Jack, Clara, Ninth me, and Tenth me. You all know who I am, and if you don't, than you should. Now, we have to figure out how we are all here, when some of us should be dead or in alternate universes, or shouldn't even remember me."

"I think I can answer that.", a new person that nobody recognized came out of the light. "Alright I think everyone's here, so it's time to get started!", a teenage girl with long, chocolate brown hair in ringlet curls steps into the room. The bright light closes behind her. "My name is Angel and I'll be directing the best musical in all of time and space, and you all have made the cast!"

"What do you mean, we've been cast in a musical?", Amy asked. "I went through A LOT of trouble to remotely hack into your TARDIS, so that we can put on the best version of The Phantom of the Opera ever!" Eleven had a look of disbelief on his face. "How did you-" "Call me a genius, I have my ways. Anyhow, here's the cast..."

**So what do you think so far? This is definitely not a serious fic, just something fun and casual. I'll post the rest ASAP, don't worry!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned POTO and Doctor Who, but I don't. All rights to BBC, Gaston Leroux and Andrew Lloyd Webber.**

**Thanks and don't forget to leave a review!**

**Angelofmusic4ever**


	2. The Cast

"And the cast for the Phantom of the Opera is...

The Phantom- Jack Harkness (Just to make things interesting)

Christine Daae- Amelia Pond (Because shes awesome)

Raoul de Chagny- The Tenth Doctor

Carlotta Guidicelli- Donna Noble

Madame Giry- River Song

Meg Giry- Rose Tyler

Andre- The Eleventh Doctor

Firmin- Rory Williams

Piangi- Micky Smith

Reyer- The Ninth Doctor

Lefevre- Martha Jones

Auctioneer- Clara Oswald

Buquet- Larry Nightingale

Dancers- Jenny, Christina, Clara, Sally."

**Starting in the next chapters, I will be writing in script format. Thanks, and I hope you're enjoying this so far!**

**Angelofmusic4ever**


	3. Prologue

Angel: Alright! Everyone, let's get started!

Clara/ auctioneer:SOLD! YOUR NUMBER SIR? THANK YOU. LOT 663, THEN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, A POSTER FROM THIS HOUSES PRODUCTION OF HANNIBAL BY CHALA- what is this? Chelamuee?

Angel: Chaal a meau.

Clara/auctioneer: HANNIBAL BY CHALUMEAU. DO I HAVE TEN FRANCS? FIVE THEN, FIVE I AM BID. SIX. SEVEN. AGAINST YOU SIR, SEVEN. EIGHT. EIGHT ONCE, SELLING TWICE. SOLD TO RAOUL, VICOMTE DE CHAGNY. LOT 664: A WOODEN PISTOL AND THREE HUMAN SKULLS, eww, FROM THIS HOUSES PRODUCTION OF ROBERT LE DIABLE, weird names, BY MEYERBEER. TEN FRANCS FOR THIS, TEN STILL. FIFTEEN, SIR THANK YOU. FIFTEEN I AM BID. GOING AT FIFTEEN, YOUR NUMBER SIR? How long is this going to go on?

Angel: Just get on with it.

Clara/Auctioneer: 665, A PAPIER MÂCHÉ MUSICAL BOX IN THE SHAPE OF A BARREL ORGAN. ATTACHED, THE FIGURE OF A MONKEY IN PERSIAN ROBES, PLAYING THE CYMBALS. THIS ITEM, FOUND IN THE VAULTS OF THE THEATRE IS STILL IN WORKING ORDER. SHOWING HERE. (The monkey plays an eerie tune) MAY I START AT TWENTY FRANCS, FIFTEEN THEN, FIFTEEN I AM BID. THIRTY? GOING ONCE, TWICE, SOLD TO THE VICOMTE DE CHAGNY. THANK YOU SIR.

Ten/Raoul: A COLLECTORS PEICE, INDEED. EVERY DETAIL, EXACTLY AS SHE SAID. who's she?

Angel: Christine.

Ten/Raoul: SHE OFTEN SPOKE OF YOU, MY FRIEND. YOUR VELVET LINING AND YOUR FIGURINE OF LEAD. WILL YOU STILL PLAY WHEN ALL THE REST OF US ARE DEAD? Well, that is a depressing thought.

Clara/Auctioneer: LOT 666, THEN, A CHANDELIER IN PEICES. SOME OF YOU MAY RECALL THE STRANGE AFFAIR OF THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, I don't, A MYSTERY NEVER FULLY EXPLAINED. WE ARE TOLD, LADIES AND GENTLE MEN THAT THIS IS THE VERY CHANDELIER THAT FIGURES IN THE FAMOUS DISASTER. Not famous enough, I've never heard of it. OUR WORKSHOPS HAVE RESTORED IT AND FITTED UP PARTS OF IT WITH THE NEW ELECTRIC LIGHT SO THAT WE MAY GET A HINT OF WHAT IT MAY LOOK LIKE WHEN REASSEMBLED. PERHAPS WE MAY FRIGHTEN AWAY THE GHOST OF SO MANY YEARS AGO WITH A LITTLE ILLUMINATION? GENTLEMEN!

Angel: Alright, good job! Take five everyone!

**A/N**

**So basically, all caps is script and normal is the Doctor Who characters speaking. Two weeks until the 50th! So excited! Don't forget to review and check out my other story!**

**Angelofmusic4ever**


	4. Hannibal

Donna: Oi, you! I can't hit these notes!

Angel: just try, Donna.

Donna: Fine. But I swear, I won't be able to talk for a week and you will pay!

Ten: Well, someone got the casting right, I can't tell Donna from Carlotta.

Martha: Donna not talking for a week, that could be a welcome change.

Donna/ Carlotta: Oi! Shut up! This trophy from our savior a, from our saviors, from the

enslaving force of Rooooome! I remember when we went to Rome! Volcano Day!

Dancers: With feasting and dancing and song, tonight in celebration. We greet our

victorious throng returned to bring salvation. The trumpets of Carthage resound. Hear

Romns now and tremble. Hark to their step on the ground, hear the drums, Hannibal

comes!

Mickey/ Piangi: Sad to return to find the land we love threatened once more by Romas far

reaching grasp. Seriously, I have no idea where the plots going. First an auction, now Rome?

Angel: Nine! That's your line!

Nine/ Reyer: Sorry. Signor. If you please. We say Rome, not Roma!

Mickey/ Piangi: Si, si. Rome. Not Roma. It's very hard for me.

Nine/ Reyer: Once again Signor, sad to return

Clara/ Lefevre: Ug, I hate this role! I want a lead.

Angel: Just say your lines!

Clara/Lefevre (to ANDRE and FIRMIN)

This way, gentlemen, this way. Rehearsals, as

you see, are under way, for a new production of

Chalumeau's "Hannibal".

(seeing a hiatus in the rehearsal, LEFEVRE attempts to

attract attention.)

Clara/ Lefevre:

Ladies and gentlemen, some of you may already,

perhaps, have met M. Andre and M. Firmin ... Ugh, this is so boring.

(the new managers are politely bowing, when REYER

interrupts)

Nine/ Reyer:

I'm sorry, M. Lefevre, we are rehearsing. If you wouldn't

mind waiting a moment?

Rose: Once again, great casting. Reyer captures you perfectly, Doctor.

Nine: Oi!

Clara/Lefevre

My apologies, M. Reyer. Proceed, proceed ... Why am I apologizing? Rose is the one who's backsassing!

Angel: Just get on with it! I swear, this is going to be the death of me.

Nine/ Reyer:

Thank you, monsieur (turning back to PIANGI).

"Sad to return..." Signor ...

Clara/Lefevre: (sotto voce to ANDRE and FIRMIN)

M. Reyer, our chief repetiteur. Rather a tyrant, I'm

afraid. Just stop it with the introductions!

Nine: I'm not a tyrant!

(the rehearsal continues)

Mickey/Piangi: (HANNIBAL)

Sad to return to find the land we love

threatened once more by

Rome's far-reaching grasp.

Tomorrow we shall break

the chains of Rome. Rome, you get it, Doctor?!

Tonight, rejoice - your army has

come home.

BALLET GIRLS begin their dance.

Jenny: Clara, you think you have it bad. I don't even have any lines.

Amy: At least I'll be singing soon.

Sally: Quit it Pond!

Rose: I get a freaking solo during this scene!

Angel: Just start dancing!

LEFEVRE, ANDRE and FIRMIN

stand centr-stage watching the

ballet. They are in the way. The

ballet continues under the

following dialogue.)

Clara/Lefevre: (indicating PIANGI)

Signor Piangi, our principal

tenor. He does play so opposite

La Carlotta.

Mickey: Finally, getting some recognition.

River/Giry: (exasperated by their

presence, bangs her cane angrily

on the stage)

Gentlemen, please! If you would

kindly move to one side?

Clara: Ahem! Lady here too!

Angel: You play a guy, Clara.

Clara/Lefevre:

What EVER!

My apologies, Mme. Giry.

(leading ANDRE and FIRMIN

aside)

Mme. Giry, our ballet mistress. I

don't mind confessing, M.

Firmin, I shan't be sorry to be rid

of the whole blessed business. Can't wait to get out of here.

Rory/Firmin

Finally, I have a line. I keep asking you, monsieur, why

exactly are you retiring?

Jack: Shut up, I haven't had one either.

Clara/Lefevre: (ignoring this, calls

his attention to the continuing

ballet)

We take a particular pride here in

the excellence of our ballets. Whoa, subject change.

Rose: Solo time!

(MEG becomes prominent among the dancers)

Eleven/Andre:

Who's that girl, Lefevre?

Rose, of course.

Clara/Lefevre:

Her? Meg Giry, Madame Giry's

daughter. Promising dancer, M.

Andre, most promising.

(CHRISTINE becomes prominent. She has absent-

mlndedly fallen out-of-step)

Amy: Wonderful first time with the new managers and I'm a total clutz.

River/Giry: (spotting her, bangs her cane again)

You! Christine Daae! Concentrate, girl!

Sorry, mum.

Rose/Meg: (quietly, to CHRISTINE)

Christine . . . What's the matter?

Amy: Nuthin. It's in the script.

Rory/Firmin: (to LEFEVRE)

Daae? Curious name.

Clara/Lefevre:

Swedish. Well, what's that supposed to mean?

Eleven/Andre:

Any relation to the violinist?

Clara/Lefevre:

His daughter, I believe. Always has her head in the

clouds, I'm afraid.

Amy: Oi! Stop the insults!

(The ballet continues to its climax and ends. The

CHORUS resumes)

CHORUS

Bid welcome to Hannibal's guests -

the elephants of Carthage!

As guides on our conquering quests,

Dido sends

Hannibal's friends!

(the ELEPHANT, a life-sized mechanical replica, enters.

PIANGI is lifted, in triumph, onto its back)

Jack: Holy crap. That is a nice elephant.

Ten: Stop flirting with the props!

Jack: I'm not-

Angel: Just shut up! Gosh, I'm coming of a total dictating jerk right now aren't it?

Donna: Yes, you are.

Angel: Touché.

Donna/Carlotta (ELISSA)

Once more to my

welcoming arms

my love returns

in splendour!

Mickey, I'm not in love with you, this means nothing.

Mickey: Good, cause I'm married.

Mickey/Piangi: (HANNIBAL)

Once more to those

sweetest of charms

my heart and soul

surrender!

Martha, I still love you!

CHORUS

The trumpeting elephants sound

hear, Romans, now and tremble!

Hark to their step on the ground

hear the drums!

Hannibal comes!

Donna: Thank goodness that's over.

Mickey: You're telling me.

Martha: I wasn't even in this scene and it's torture.

(At the end of the chorus LEFEVRE claps

his hands for silence. The elephant is led

off. Two stage-hands are revealed operating

it from within)

Angel: Alright, time for Think if Me!

**A/N**

**Sorry it's been a while. I'll try to update sooner. Tell me what you think about this story in the reviews! And also check out my newest PhanPhic, No Turning Back!**

**Angelofmusic4ever**


	5. Think of Me

Clara/ Lefevre:

Ladies and gentlemen - Madame Giry, thank

you - may I have your attention, please?

As you know, for some weeks there have

been rumours of my Imminent retirement.

I'm not old enough!

I can now tell you that these were all true and

it is my pleasure to introduce to you the

two gentlemen who now own the Opera

Populaire, M. Richard Firmin and M.

Gilles Andre.

(Polite applause. Some bowing.

CARLOTTA makes her presence felt)

Gentlemen, Signora Carlotta Giudicelli, our

leading soprano for five seasons now.

Donna: Finally some recognition

Eleven/ Andre:

Of course, of course. I have experienced all

your

greatest roles, Signora.

Clara/Lefevre:

And Signor Ubaldo Piangi.

Mickey: Thank you!

Rory/ Signor:

An honour, Signor.

Eleven/ Andre:

If I remember rightly, Elissa has a rather

fine aria in Act Three of "Hannibal". Aren't I supposed to be ignorant?

I wonder, Signora, if, as a personal favour,

you would oblige us with a private

rendition? (Somewhat acerbic). Unless, of

course, M. Reyer objects . . . If myself objects?

Donna/ Carlotta:

My manager commands . . .

M. Reyer?

This is so boring!

Nine/ Reyer

My diva commands. Will two bars

be sufficient introduction?

Donna: Diva... That's new. I like it!

Rory/ Firmin:

Two bars will be quite sufficient. Wow, my character is so deep.

Nine/ Reyer (ensuring that CARLOTTA is ready)

Signora?

CARLOTTA

Maestro. When will something interesting happen?

(The introduction is played on the piano)

CARLOTTA

Think of me,

think of me fondly, These songs are so random.

when we've said

goodbye.

Remember me

once in a while -

please promise me

you'll try.

When you find

that, once

again, you long

to take your heart . . .

Wait, why do I stop?

Angel: Be patient! You people are so hard to work with! I should have chosen the cast of Torchwood. They're so much more efficient.

(As CARLOTTA is singing a backdrop crashes to the

floor cutting her off from half the cast)

BALLET GIRLS/CHORUS

He's here:

the Phantom of the Opera . . .

He is with us . . .

It's the ghost . . .

Mickey/ Piangi: (looking up, furiously)

You idiots! For once, I'm calling someone the idiot.

(He rushes over to CARLOTTA)

Cara! Cara! Are you hurt?

Donna: No, it didn't even land in me!

Clara/ Lefevre:

Signora! Are you all right? Buquet!

Where is Buquet ? Who is Buquet?

Mickey/ Piangi

Is no one concerned for our prima donna?

Donna: Oi! He's right! Diva on the ground!

Clara/ Lefevre:

Get that man down here !

(to ANDRE and FIRMIN)

Chief of the flies. He's responsible for this. Who even plays him?

War Doctor: Me.

Ten: Aw, not you!

Eleven: Why him?

Angel: Just shut up!

(The drop is raised high enough to reveal upstage an old

stagehand, JOSEPH BUQUET, holding a length of rope,

which looks almost like a noose)

Clara/ Lefevre:

Buquet! For God's sake, man, what's going on up there? Hello again.

War Doctor/ Buquet:

Please monsieur

don't look at me:

as God's my witness,

I was not at my post.

Ten: He was too busy destroying Gallifrey.

Eleven: Of course, he forgot.

Ten: Forgot what?

Eleven: You'll find out.

War Doctor/ Buquet:

Please monsieur

there's no one there:

and if there is, well

then, it must be a ghost . . . Or Gelth

Nine: Oh yeah, Rose. Remember them? Charles Dickens!

Rose: How could I forget?

Rose/ Meg (looking up)

He's there; the Phantom of the Opera ... This is getting repetitive.

Eleven/ Andre:

Good heavens!

Will you show a little courtesy?

Rory/ Firmin: (to MEG and the OTHERS)

Mademoiselle, please!

Rose: Please what?

Eleven/ Andre: (to CARLOTTA)

These things do happen.

Donna/ Carlotta:

Si! These things do happen! Well, until you stop these

things happening, this thing does not happen! I love this role.

Ubaldo! Andiamo!

(PIANGI dutifully fetches her furs from the wings)

Ten: What did I say, perfect casting, they're like twins!

Donna: I can still hear you, Martian!

Ten: I- I'm not from Mars.

Mickey/ Piangi:

Amateurs !

Clara/ Lefevre:

I don't think there's much more to assist you,

gentlemen. Good luck. If you need me, I shall be in

Frankfurt . I'm basically done for the entire show! Later, I'm going swimming!

Nine: How did she find the pool?

Eleven: No idea.

(He leaves. The COMPANY looks anxiously at the NEW

MANAGERS)

Eleven/ Andre.

La Carlotta will be back. I really doubt it.

River/ Giry

You think so, messieurs? I have a message, sir, from the

Opera Ghost.

(The GIRLS twitter and twirl in fear)

Rory/ Firmin:

God in Heaven, you're all obsessed!

Jack: Who wouldn't be obsessed with me?

River/ Giry:

He merely welcomes you to his opera house and

commands you to continue to leave Box Five empty for

his use and reminds you that his salary is due.

Rory/ Firmin:

His salary? A ghost has a salary, interesting.

River/ Giry

Monsieur Lefevre paid him twenty thousand francs a

month. Perhaps you can afford more, with the Vicomte de

Chagny as your patron.

(Reaction to this from the BALLET GIRLS.

CHRISTINE takes hold of MEG nervously)

Eleven/ Andre: (to GIRY)

Madame, I had hoped to have made that

announcement myself.

What's the big deal?

River/ Giry: (to FIRMIN)

Will the Vicomte be at the performance tonight,

monsieur? Why should I care?

Rory/ Firmin:

In our box. Okay cool...

Eleven/ Andre

Madame, who is the understudy for this role?

Nine/ Reyer

There is no understudy, monsieur - the

production is new. What does that have anything to do with things.

Eleven:

I asked my wife!

Rose: WIFE?

Eleven: Ignore that.

Rose/ Meg:

Christine Daae could sing it, sir. Sorry Amy.

Rory/ Firmin:

The chorus girl ?

The daughter of the famous violinist. And my wife.

Rose/ Meg: (to FIRMIN)

She's been taking lessons from a great teacher. Jack is a great teacher...

Eleven/ Andre

From whom ?

Amy/ Christine: (uneasily)

I don't know, sir . . .

Rory/ Firmin:

Oh, not you as well!

(turning to ANDRE)

Can you believe it? A full house - and we have to cancel ! What a pessimist!

River/ Giry

Let her sing for you, monsieur. She has been well taught.

Nine/ Reyer (after a pause)

From the beginning of the aria then, mam'selle. A reprise, really?

Amy/ Christine:

Think of me

think of me fondly,

when we've said goodbye.

Remember me

once in a while -

please promise me

you'll try. Already did this...

Rory/ Firmin:

Andre, this is doing nothing for my nerves.

Amy: You try having to sing opera!

Eleven/ Andre:

Don't fret, Firmin.

Amy: At least the Doctor has some faith!

Amy/Christine:

When you find

that, once

again, you long

to take your heart back

and be free -

if you

ever find

a moment,

spare a thought

for me. Who am I even singing to?

(Transformation to the Gala. CHRISTINE is

revealed in full costume)

We never said

our love

was evergreen,

or as unchanging

as the sea -

but if

you can still

remember

stop and think

of me . . .

He's never going to remember, just get over it!

Think of all the things

we've shared and seen -

don't think about the things

which might have been . . . But weren't.

Think of me,

think of me waking,

silent and

resigned. Why?

Imagine me,

trying too hard

to put you

from my mind.

Nah, I'll move on.

Recall those days

look back

on all those times,

think of the things

we'll never do -

there will

never be

a day, when

I won't think

of you . .

Just you wait...

(Applause, bravos. Prominent among the bravos, those

of the young RAOUL in the MANAGERS' box)

Ten/ Raoul:

Can it be?

Can it be Christine? No... of course it is!

Bravo!

(he raises his opera-glasses)

What a change!

You're really

not a bit

the gawkish girl

that once you were...

Amy: Oi! You haven't even met me yet!

Ten/ Raoul:

She may

not remember

me, but

I remember

her...

Stalker.

Amy/ Christine:

We never said

our love

was evergreen,

or as unchanging

as the sea -

but please

promise me,

that sometimes

you will think

of me!

I actually hit that! Take that, Centurion!

**A/N**

**What did you think? 50th anniversary reference! I just had to do it. Who's excited for the Christmas Special? Next is Angel of music!**

**Please review!**

**Angelofmusic4ever**


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